Friday, February 22, 2008

Still in denial but headed for depression

The five phases of grief.

I got over shock rather quickly, it wasn't hard to believe that someone would rather live in the beautiful Northwest near their friends instead of in Las Vegas with their sister and her kids.

I'm still stuck in denial. My friend Safire is having twins in late April. She is of course ecstatic. She has been posting on her blog about how she is getting ready. I have been studiously ignoring the fact that I will be driving to Washington, and then home again by myself. (That will take 6 days. We will be spending from Feb 29th to March 6th in Tacoma which is very happy.) Moga-despite my better efforts never learned how to drive. I have also been ignoring all the other things that will once again be solely mine to deal with. I am not excited.

After this there is apparently anger but really it's kind of like shock how can I be mad that she wants to live in the beautiful Northwest near her friends.

After anger is depression, I'm sure I'll get there. When I have to go back to being the only person who pretends to do dishes, laundry and cleaning daily. When my husband works a million hours of overtime and I'm a single parent. When I have to take my kids to my annual in 2 months. When I get to run ALL my errands with George as my buddy.

After depression is acceptance. I'm sure I'll accept her leaving...I have no choice.

I'm trying to focus on the positive so I don't sit in depression as long as I've sat in denial. I will be getting a little raise each month that I can use to hire Saturday night babysitters. I will have tons of time to spend with George. I won't get calls from my Mom wanting to know what I'm doing to help Moga. and well that's all I can come up with now.

I'm having to face reality because I've got one dress done and the other almost there. I have to finish the money machine tomorrow so I can deliver it on Monday at the meeting.

Okay enough of me being depressing. I get to go look for warm clothes so my people won't completely FREEZE while we're in Washington!


Hillary said...

That is the saddest in the world. Good luck moving to the acceptance phase. You'll be great. :)

Karen Valinda said...

Please DON'T make it to depression before your visit here 'cause I am still stuck there alot of the time myself and it would ruin the visit!

We love you all and are SOOO excited to see you, put you in clean warm beds for the night and show you off to all of our friends on your way back thru! And feed you Olive Garden spaghetti... the YW fundraiser here is a spaghetti dinner 'catered' by Olive Garden and then their is an auction of home made desserts and you cuties will be here the 8th so I put 6 instead of 2 for the # attending.

;-} xoxoxox

Karen Valinda said...

'there' is an auction... knew better than to hit publish w/o a preview !

Sandra Huntsman said...

Please, please PLEASE let me watch your kids when you go to your annual. I'm not THAT far away, and it's small price to pay to avoid disciplining while compromised!

Oh, and I've got dibs on Friday nights - we can hang out, let the kids play, eat some healthy dinner and sew or chat or watch movies!

I think you should get digital cable with DVR also - that makes anyone feel better.