Friday, November 2, 2007

Mired in the Mud & #5 (hidden in the mud)

That is how I feel today. I am spinning my tires as fast as I can and I feel like I get NOWHERE! I spent several days this week helping at school - including this morning the PTSO moved all the Harvest Festival stuff from the classroom we were using to the big storage container parked next to the portables.

I finished the Pirate Queen - that is a story all in it's self but here are pics of what they sent and how I copied it.

Theirs --- Mine

Wednesday was a wash (work wise) then I spent yesterday doing the odds and ends for the show (only 8 days till it ends!!! that means 2 more washings but one is the final washing - UGH) today I lost the morning and fought the Mermaid bra in the afternoon, hopefully the skirt will go okay tomorrow. I hate working on Saturday but sometimes it's gotta happen.

For Monday I made belated appointments for George (3yr well check) and Jr. (dentist she has this weird tooth thing I'll have to get a picture of), did I want to do them no but things aren't going to get any better - time wise.

I have 2 full outfits and 2 bodices I'm sending to Australia on Nov. 13th and while that might sound far away - it's NOT!!!! I thought I'd have time this week but the Pirate thing cropped up and had to be taken care of. I procrastinated and it's my fault I'm so slammed but it doesn't help!

Obviously I'm just overwhelmed and tired. Should I give up costumes? How hard would it be to find help? Would they be good help? Can I really live off just Peter's income? When it comes down to it the money I've earned this year has covered our taxes, being self employed has it's minuses. Can we do with less money, yes certainly. But I always try and fail horribly do I have the faith it takes to make a huge leap? Nope - I'm a BIG wimp. That is thing #5. I'm such a chicken and kind of a fake - I put on a brave face and do what has to be done. I only pretend to be bold (sometimes) and self assured. Maybe I should just make things I want to make and sell them on ebay?

George just came up and told me her contacts are getting out, I think that means she's tired.

They have friends over (unexpectedly), and she's back crying so I'll go.


Hillary said...

You did a great job on the woman-pirate.

I totally understand the working mom thing and being overwhelmed. (Probably not on quite as big a scale as I only have one child.) There are definitely days I just want to give it all up and there are other days that I am so glad that I have something to do. It's such a rollercoaster. Hang in there. You are great. Everything will work out.

VMom said...

But I always try and fail horribly I realize I have only been around for your whole life plus the not quite nine months of your pregnancy ~ when did I miss out on you failing horribly? I have 12 years worth of "is a pleasure to have in class" and good grades and tapes of studio choir performances and memories of plays/ musicals with you in important supporting roles doing a great job and Mesa Vista hired you to cook but you ended up organizing and ordering as well, as I recall being told and you cooked successfully at the huge daycare when you were pregnant with Fred and you are amazing at organizing and cleaning, you get things DONE!
do I have the faith it takes to make a huge leap? The right huge leap? YES, no doubt in my mind.
ANYTHING you put your heart and mind into, you are unstoppable. You made the marry Peter in the temple leap, the have three girls even when pregnancy is hard leap, the become a condo/homeowner leap and be in a Primary Presidency and write the program (more than once)leap. You know exactly what you want your girls to dress like and you make it happen, lets be honest here, YOU go shopping the day after Thanksgiving and make our like a bandit because you plan and put out the effort needed to make it happen! Do I have to come down there and smack you! You are amazing.
Nope - I'm a BIG wimp. NO you are a relentless task master and you are least reasonable* with YOU.*patient, kind, understanding, realistic...

That is thing #5. I'm such a chicken and kind of a fake - I put on a brave face**EVERYone does! ** and do what has to be done. **NOT everyone does, your follow thru is what proves you are NOT a chicken. I only pretend to be bold (sometimes) and self assured. Who are you? Who are you really? Ask yourself, ask Peter, Susan, siblings, your Dad, and then ask you again and THEN ask Heavenly Father. HE is actually the only one, besides you, who knows and HE doesn't have the drawn veil to cloud HIS mind and memory.
Maybe I should just make things I want to make and sell them on ebay? Viable alternative, orders for existing customers and people who know your work could be showcased on a website, good help IS hard to find, the skill,speed, attention to detail, ability to stay on schedule ARE all critical and NOT easy to find... again underscoring how amazing you are. Fear is not the defining quality, what you DO in spite of the fear IS.
I love you eternally Ddonn, mom xoxoxox